(AP PHOTO)

Super Bowl Haiku
Date: 2/4/2006

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It may be that no poetic form is less appropriate for discussing the Super Bowl than haiku. That pretty much explains why we here at Only A Game have been celebrating the Super Bowl via haiku for 12 years now. That, and the fact that any idiot can write something consisting of two five syllable lines separated by a sevensyllable line.





By Bill Littlefield:

Super Bowl progress
Means you can't say "Super Bowl"
Without a license.

In dreams, the ball, soft,
Settles into softer hands.
And never pops out.

Buffet without end,
Drinks, the dancing girls and...uh,
Game? What game is that?

Inside, two teams, worthy,
Strut, point skyward, roar. Outside,
Lions, restless, pace.

Down thirty six, doomed,
Coach asks his weary self if...
More work would have worked.

Thinking "torn," "ripped," "crushed,"
"Severed," lineman whispers, Lord,
"Let it not be mine."

Jerome Bettis stands,
Keith Richard struggles up, too...
Who is more beat up?

Pittsburgh wins, it's beer.
Seattle, either way it's
Coffee and more rain.

Steelers, sans respect,
Beat the odds, crushed the home teams.
With respect, they're done.

(First voice) Panic in Detroit!
(Second voice) No, no. Football in Detroit.
(First voice) Super Bowl! Danger!

Hasselbeck. Nice sound.
Roethlisberger. Grrr. Gristle.
Roethlisberger wins.

Governors wager:
Lump of coal v. box of rain.
Lose-lose, isn't it?


By Joan Murray:

Super Bowl Power--
Sweeping everything aside--
Masterpiece Theater.

Millions in terror--
Knife-edged pendulum of fate:
Instant replay.

Look, man, its Squaresville:
Grid lines! Flags! Measuring chains!
Click remote--go free!


By Gabe O'Connor:

Sunday champions
Are flush with fame, glory while
Mannings weep softly.

What is a seahawk?
A bird or a mythic beast?
Just pass me the dip.

Wait a minute here,
Jerome Bettis is from Detroit
No! The hell you say!

Remember that time
When coach's heart exploded?
Yeah. That was awesome.